Have You Heard of “Gluteal Amnesia”?
LOVBOD  ·  2021-03-31

  Amnesia, a must-have item for dramas from that time

“Dong-seo,,, Han Dong-seo,,,”
“Love will!!! Come back!!!”

The first thing that comes to mind when I think of the word “amnesia” is the line Kwon Sang-woo said in the drama “Stairway to Heaven” (the 2003 Korean drama that caused the K-Drama craze in Japan about 20 years before the current K-pop and K-Drama craze). Subsequently, various tear-jerking dramas move through my mind. At the time when losing memories spread like a trend in the media, I often imagined if I would lose my memories like that someday.

But recently, I learned something quite shocking. I was actually losing my memory. Of course, it’s not like the story of Song-joo (Kwon Sang-woo’s character in Stairway to Heaven) or Jung-seo (Choi Ji-woo’s character in Stairway to Heaven), because there’s nothing wrong with my brain. Instead, my butt has amnesia. It is called “gluteal amnesia.” The name may be funny, but it’s not something to laugh about. I’m sure it’s been a long time since all modern people’s butts have gotten amnesia. It’s just that we haven’t recognized or feel much importance about it.

If your butt looks droopy even with your naked eyes, if your butt isn’t hard but soft when you lift your legs back while lying on your stomach — congratulations, you have gluteal amnesia. Of course, I have it too.

  The story of all of us in a sedentary life

Gluteal amnesia/dead butt syndrome began with a common symptom found in patients with back pain by the rehabilitation doctor, Vladimir Janda of the Czech Republic. It’s a problem that occurs when the strong, large muscles of the butt bear the weight of the relatively weak waist instead, and the biggest reason is the lifestyle of sitting down too long. When sitting on a chair for a long time and not moving your legs, your gluteus and back thigh muscles become weak, and you forget how to add strength to them. It’s also known as gluteus maximus-hamstring control disorder.

According to the 2018 Korea’s Ministry of Health and Welfare’s National Health Statistics, 58.3% of citizens spend 8.3 hours a day sitting, while 20.6% of them spend 12 or more hours, which is not a laughing matter when considering that the average daily sleep time during the week is seven hours. We’re living a life of studying and working without having time to properly recharge our stamina.

As we spend a long time sitting at our desks, our butt muscles are gradually degenerating. When we need to use our butt muscles, they forget when and how to move, and instead, we use thigh muscles (hamstrings) and back muscles (erector spinae). Such poor use of muscles can lead to leg edema, pelvic dislocation, uneven hips, and even back disc disease.

  Towards finding memory for your lost butt

Oh my, what’s a butt that it can lose its memory? I mean, if it’s going to lose something, it should lose fat, not memories, but a butt is an incredible thing. An elastic butt, which goes up, is attractive to anyone, regardless of gender, but we shouldn’t consider butts as just an attractive body part. The butt is the largest muscle in our body, which acts as a central control center for the body. However, this central control center is weighed down every day that it can’t play its role properly, so it’s obvious that the body wouldn’t be healthy.

That’s why we need to stimulate our buttle muscles so that they don’t lose their presence and use. You don’t have time to go to the gym? Don’t worry. There are ways to wake up our butt muscles that are sleeping, or perhaps that we unintentionally made them faint for a long time, much simpler than we thought. They’re “butt walking” and “squats.” Their biggest advantages are that you can do them in your daily life, such as during commuting, as they don’t require any particular equipment or sportswear. And their effects are pretty good, so you shouldn’t underestimate them. Everyone knows about squats, so aside from that, I’ll explain about butt walking, which may be somewhat unfamiliar.

“Butt walking” is an exercise when you climb stairs with your butt. The method is not difficult because you can do it during commute or lunchtime. All you have to do is walk up the stairs thinking about “verticality, heels, and butts.”

How to tone the butt with walking

First, don’t bend your upper body forward because the stairs are hard, but straighten your waist.
Second, put strength on your heel and climb the stairs as if you’re pushing up.
Third, do the same thing with your other foot, applying force to the heel and pushing your body up to climb the stairs.

If you’re not sure if you’re using your butt muscles, you can also touch the area where your butt and thighs fold.

  Your muscles will come back

It’s been a few weeks since I put in the effort to remind my butt muscles of their existence. I think strength has built on the muscles, just from using the stairs during commuting, lunchtime, or on the way home. Of course, I want to have the best butt, but doing just butt walking and squats won’t give you the best butt.

I’m grateful enough that my butt hasn’t hidden its trace from me who has been sitting for more than 8 hours, so I want to bother my butt as much as possible during other times. I want to keep poking to remind my butt that you’re still here, don’t go away. It’s like the last mouth-to-mouth to the butt right before it’s about to flatten. I wonder if it’s now a matter of survival.

My legs are shaking because I climbed the stairs during lunchtime today. I’m excited but also dizzy from thinking about using the stairs instead of the elevator when I arrive home later. But as if love returned with the boomerang, I hope my butt muscles that left home will return as soon as possible, because the owner is anxiously waiting for her.

“Butts will!!! Come back!!!”

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